Waiting For Inspiration - The Agate Necklace

I have been making and designing jewellery for over 25 years. However, my design approach is somewhat unusual due to my inability to visualise in my mind, which is a result of having aphantasia. Often, I spend many, many months trying to start my latest piece of jewellery, yet I stay stalled, unable to think or see what I wish to create. This is a post about one of my recent creations and how it came about.

Uncle Rusty's 'Scrap Pot'

I Decided To Create A Piece Of Jewellery

For my Aunty Barbara's 70th birthday. I decided I would do this in November 2024, and despite thinking about it and trying to plan or even just start it regularly, I was drawing a complete blank. I tried thinking of my own designs. I tried looking at lots of beautiful jewellery made by others in the hope it would spark an idea. I periodically got out all my stones and suppliers and moved them around my workbench in different configurations, but nothing helped. Not only did I have zero idea of what I wanted to make, but I couldn't seem to force myself to just start making something, anything to get me started. In the end, I started the piece in May, the day before we left for her birthday gathering.

Leaving Things Till The Last Minute

With my own work, I've always been known for leaving things until the last minute. I am the Queen of Procrastination. From the outside, it looks as if I just haven't started. I'm being lazy or avoiding the task. And while I've always known that, despite how it looks, I have been trying to do my work, it wasn't until recently that I realised that, internally, often without my realising it, I am, in fact, working really hard.

Percolating

The periods I previously classed as procrastinating, I now class as percolating. Creativity is like making filter coffee: it involves a process that happens gradually and often out of sight. When making filter coffee, you take thousands of tiny grounds, hydrate them with water, and let it slowly drip through to extract the rich flavour. We don't see these subtle changes happening behind the scenes. Similarly, when you have aphantasia, your brain may be quietly working on ideas or problem-solving in the background without you consciously realising it. Just like the brewing process continues unseen, your mind can be processing and refining thoughts silently, leading to insights or solutions that surface only later, while you remain unaware of the intricate work occurring beneath the surface.

Inner Monologue

Many people, including those with aphantasia, say they have a strong inner monologue. They can 'hear' their thoughts. And when you have a strong inner monologue, it can make you very aware of your ideas. You can think, plan and problem-solve in words. And if you are aware of how hard you are thinking and planning in your brain, you may be less inclined to get frustrated by a lack of productivity, unless your inner monologue is telling you that you're not ready or good enough to enact your ideas.

I have no inner monologue. I can 'think' in words, but it doesn't come naturally, and I can't 'hear' them. As someone who can not visualise and has no inner monologue, my thoughts are not tangible. While I know my brain is always very busy, I rarely know what it is busy with. I liken it to a radio station that has lost its signal. You know the broadcast is still happening and every now and then a crackly word may break through, but you have no idea what is being discussed. This makes it exceptionally hard for me to recognise when I am working on my ideas in my brain.

The upside of having no inner monologue is that I am far less prone to negative self-talk compared to those with a strong inner monologue. Many people I know share that their inner monologue is VERY noisy and not always helpful.

Physical Progress Begins

Seven months after I first started trying to make my Aunt her piece of jewellery, I returned to my supplies box. I had some Burn Anne Agate, which is only found in the burn behind my grandma's old home (and my aunts' old family home) in Galston, Scotland. You can read more about this gorgeous stone here.

I also selected my grandma's old, broken pearl necklace that I was given after she passed.

Construction & Deconstruction

I made a silver bezel setting for the Burn Agate. I created two jump rings and soldered them onto the setting to attach it to a chain, but once I saw it, I decided against the design. I unsoldered the jump rings from the bezel and decided to create a wire 'frame' for the piece. I had inherited some scrap silver from my Uncle Rusty and in his 'scrap pot', I found the back of a sterling silver, vintage hand mirror that he had started to deconstruct. The silver was only 0.2mm thick but I decided the pattern would make a lovely backplate for my pendant.

The Final Piece

I finished the piece by reattaching my jump rings to the top and bottom of the pendant. A chain was added to the top, and one of my grandma's pearls was suspended from the bottom.

The Hidden Concept

Despite spending seven months trying to make a start on this project, with no concept of an idea, it came together in a single day. My aunts pendant showcases a Burn Anne Agate that can only be found in the burn behind her family home. It features a pearl taken from her late mother's broken pearl necklace, and is made from silver, collected and recycled by her late uncle. Upon seeing this pendant, my mum asked me how I always manage to make jewellery with such a strong and personal story. I have no idea, but at least I now know my lack of awareness is due to having aphantasia and a lack of inner monologue. I am not procrastinating, I am percolating.

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Moving Forward

I plan to show myself grace while dealing with the frustration of not being able to start making and designing jewellery 'on demand'.