Embracing 'Bad Creativity’: How Long Covid and Aphantasia can affect Jewellery Design

As a jeweller who thrives on creative challenges, I'm excited to share my latest project - one that's as much about personal growth as it is about creating jewellery!

I used to set myself annual jewellery challenges to help boost my creativity. This all came to an unexpected end in 2020 after contracting COVID-19 and losing my fine motor skills. After spending the last five years being frustrated by my lack of dexterity, I have decided that enough is enough. It is time to start making again, in spite of my reduced ability. It is time to embrace 'bad creativity'!

"Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack in everything.

That’s how the light gets in." - Leonard Cohen, “Anthem”

How I Got Here

I used to set myself yearly creative challenges. In 2020, I embarked on a no-spend year, challenging myself to create without buying new materials. Little did I know that #nospendmakeandmend would coincide with a global pandemic, making my challenge both easier and more poignant. In December 2020, my no-spend year had come to an end, as had my luck; I contracted COVID-19.

The aftermath of COVID-19 left me with unexpected long-term effects on my dexterity, cognitive abilities, energy, and breathing. My once-reliable hands now struggled with the simplest tasks, and the brain fog and fatigue made even thinking about creating feel like wading through molasses. For almost five years, I've watched my skills decline, feeling unsafe to create using sharp tools and flames. Often, as soon as I picked something up, I would drop it. Repeatedly.

Aphantasia

COVID-19 gave me a lot of time to sit and think, and in 2021, I discovered that I have aphantasia. Aphantasia is the inability to form mental images in your head. While I can think in words. I cannot ‘see’ or ‘hear’ anything that isn’t currently in front of me. I cannot visualise ideas or replay memories. I also have no internal monologue and cannot imagine or recall other sensations such as sound, smell, touch or taste.

It’s like my brain is a computer, full of information, but the monitor and speakers can’t turn on. This poses many challenges when designing jewellery, as I am unable to imagine what I want to make or visualise different design options. It explains why I have always struggled to keep a sketchbook or plan my work. I’ve always been led by the materials as I work with them, which is not always the most productive or reliable way to work.

Where I Am Now

Five years post-COVID, I've realised something crucial: my skills will not improve without regular practice. So, I'm embarking on a new challenge - embracing 'bad creativity'. It's time to lead by example, showing my students (many of whom face similar challenges) that growth and enjoyment can come at any skill level.

This journey isn't just about creating and designing jewellery; it's about overcoming the dexterity issues caused by long COVID and the design challenges posed by aphantasia, through adaptive techniques and unconventional strategies. It's about finding coping mechanisms and an understanding of how we work best. Essential tools for all creatives.

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Through this project,

I'm setting out to achieve three main objectives:

#1 Creating Despite Challenges:

I'll be crafting a collection of jewellery pieces, proving that beauty and satisfaction can emerge from adversity. It's about redefining what 'good' creativity means in the face of physical and mental challenges.

#2 Reimagining Design Methods:

Aphantasia presents a unique challenge in visualising designs. I'll explore alternative methods, potentially uncovering innovative approaches that could benefit all creatives, regardless of their visualisation abilities.

#3 Documenting the Journey:

By sharing both breakthroughs and setbacks, I hope to inspire others facing similar hurdles and continue building my own resilience.

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The Road Ahead

This project isn't just about personal growth - it's about contributing to a broader conversation on accessibility in art. The knowledge gained will not only benefit my practice but also enable me to better support others facing similar obstacles.

Join me on my journey of adaptation, innovation, and creation. Together, we'll discover new ways of approaching jewellery design and craftsmanship that could change how we think about artistic challenges and what it means to be ‘good’ and 'bad' at creativity.

Remember, every piece of jewellery tells a story. In this case, each piece will be a testament to adaptability, problem solving, resiliency and reframing ‘creativity’.

Follow along for updates, insights, and perhaps a few 'bad' but beautiful creations along the way. In the words of Beth Garnett Illustration “Embrace failure, it’s how you get shit hot!”